relationships

I don’t know about other people’s relationships, but in all of mine there’s a breaking a point. Something will happen that the other person might not make note of, but I feel that I have explained it well enough, or even if I haven’t for that matter…and the person doesn’t act on it, it’s a fucking problem. And I might not react on it right away but I will make note of it, and it will ultimately be one of the reasons why I decide to walk away. Even if the person does everything else I ask, it can’t erase what’s already been done.


With Shaz it was when he ignored my kids while he was in THEIR house. Or when he didn’t want to watch Julian even though he was home all day.

With Mo it was the way he tried to change me. Always wanted to tell me what to wear or how to do my hair. Even tried to tell me to get a tattoo….

Jeff did the same thing, always wanted my hair a certain way, I had to dress a certain way, listen to a certain type of music. Everything was decided for me and I hated that.

These people probably didnt realize they were doing it, and probably wouldnt remember it today, but i remember it clear as day. and in those moments i knew we wouldnt last.

With Maine there have also been a lot of things I swore I would tolerate. Things I know I wouldn’t have tolerated them from someone else. It makes me question why I stay. And the things im feeling right now, are best left unspoken. Im really not feeling this anymore. A part of me thinks, maybe the feelings will pass, but the other part just wants to get it over with. I’m anticipating how I would feel once we were really broke up. Would I regret leaving him or would I regret staying so long…the moment that brought me to this I won’t say, but I can see that he has a different outlook on life and the future. No amount of compatibility will ever change that. And I’m not in the habit of changing people even if it’s for the better. If he doesn’t care about his future, how can he plan one with me in it? And the daily fights…im over it. Maybe ive just outgrown it.